Attempt to do things that you believe will help me without asking first if it's help I need. I encounter this kind of help every day. Some of it is coworkers telling me not to do my job because I might hurt myself, thus harming me professionally. Some of it is people taking things away from me because they are afraid I will hurt myself -- and even if one disregards the psychological harm caused by that, in the act of taking things away from me that I want to be holding you can cause me physical harm. Some of it is people telling me to stop doing things I'm perfectly capable of doing because they think I am hurting myself, people yelling at me and harassing me because they think they are being "helpful". There are people who body check me out of the way of doors because they want to be helpful by opening them for me. Etc.
Not to be offensive or anything, but this happens to "abled" people as well.
I get many of the same things - the doors, people doing things for me, telling me to stop doing things I can do - because of who I am: an average-sized woman. I've had people tell me I can't lift a 60-lb saddle because women should not lift over 20 pounds, and this is after I've lifted 5 to 10 of those saddles every day for a long time, both on and off the horse. Not only that, but I need to fix it when they get it wrong, which can be dangerous around a thousand+ pound horse who's getting antsy.
So, no offense, but none of those experiences are unique to disabilities and ableism. They are universal to any kind of -ism, which most everyone has experienced to one extent or another (from either side) at some point.
I was not trying to imply that it wasn't worthy of speaking about, simply trying to point out that it happens anyways.
It's easier this way:
idea that nonnie might be harmed by ableists if encountered - other nonnie asking how - first nonnie giving examples - this nonnie trying to point out that it doesn't have to be an ableist (or another nonnie from this thread) to happen; it could happen anyways. That's the risk you take by living.
Which doesn't make it right by any means. Just pointing out that we're moving into larger issues here.
That sucks and you have my sympathies. I don't know if I always succeed but I do my best to treat differently abled people in the same way I would an able bodied person.
While I hope it won't stop you continuing to take part,I am very sorry that you felt uncomfortable on the meme and around the Nonnies for any length of time.
I am sorry to everyone who wants this moved, but I promise this is my last post here (mostly because I'm going to bed next, not because the discussion isn't interesting).
But this comment sort of bugged me actually. Because the OP actually apologized for the prompt and apologized for insulting/hurting other anons very early on. Several times, but this is the first I found: http://scribe-protra.dreamwidth.org/306.html?thread=841010#cmt841010
Granted, yes, the OP was also upset and hurting his/herself, and so it does come across with a lot of other things that just added to the fire.
However, I am offended on his/her behalf that this apology by a different anon matters, while his/her early apologies got ignored.
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timeasmymeasure
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:21 am (UTC)I am confused by this statement and would like clarification of what you mean. What kind of harm do you mean?
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:26 am (UTC)(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:32 am (UTC)I get many of the same things - the doors, people doing things for me, telling me to stop doing things I can do - because of who I am: an average-sized woman. I've had people tell me I can't lift a 60-lb saddle because women should not lift over 20 pounds, and this is after I've lifted 5 to 10 of those saddles every day for a long time, both on and off the horse. Not only that, but I need to fix it when they get it wrong, which can be dangerous around a thousand+ pound horse who's getting antsy.
So, no offense, but none of those experiences are unique to disabilities and ableism. They are universal to any kind of -ism, which most everyone has experienced to one extent or another (from either side) at some point.
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:36 am (UTC)Just because that's not exclusive to ableism doesn't make the situation less worthy speaking about.
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:43 am (UTC)It's easier this way:
idea that nonnie might be harmed by ableists if encountered - other nonnie asking how - first nonnie giving examples - this nonnie trying to point out that it doesn't have to be an ableist (or another nonnie from this thread) to happen; it could happen anyways. That's the risk you take by living.
Which doesn't make it right by any means. Just pointing out that we're moving into larger issues here.
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:46 am (UTC)I understand this is something people really want to discuss, but this link would probably be more appropriate. Thanks.
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:35 am (UTC)While I hope it won't stop you continuing to take part,I am very sorry that you felt uncomfortable on the meme and around the Nonnies for any length of time.
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:42 am (UTC)... That matters more than I can say, actually. Thank you.
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:53 am (UTC)But this comment sort of bugged me actually. Because the OP actually apologized for the prompt and apologized for insulting/hurting other anons very early on. Several times, but this is the first I found: http://scribe-protra.dreamwidth.org/306.html?thread=841010#cmt841010
Granted, yes, the OP was also upset and hurting his/herself, and so it does come across with a lot of other things that just added to the fire.
However, I am offended on his/her behalf that this apology by a different anon matters, while his/her early apologies got ignored.
(frozen) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Date: 2011-03-18 03:55 am (UTC)For any meta, dicussion, or just general love and squee. http://scribe-protra.livejournal.com/216205.html
For any meta, dicussion, or just general love and squee. http://scribe-protra.livejournal.com/216205.html
For any meta, dicussion, or just general love and squee. http://scribe-protra.livejournal.com/216205.html