Lengthy meetings with my lawyers in which we rewrote all of our construction contracts to make sure we were correctly gaming the city's low-bid procurement rules while minimizing our legal obligations after project completion were a necessary part of my business, but deadly dull. It was no hardship to call for an early break when Hendricks texted me that Harry had unexpectedly arrived at the mansion. No obvious wounds, according to Hendricks, and there were no reports of unexplained explosions in the city, so I was hoping it was just a social call.
I was definitely in the mood for the kind of social call Harry Dresden had been making lately.
I felt no shame in calling an early halt to my day and heading back to the house. I didn't hear anything untoward as I hung my coat in the foyer closet. "Honey, I'm home," I called, hoping it would make Harry laugh. A laughing Harry was sometimes less difficult to trip into bed. "Harry?" I heard him call something from the second-floor living room, so I started up the stairs.
He appeared at the top of the stairs before I was two thirds of the way up. "Stars, John," he said without preamble. "I need to suck your cock. I need you in my mouth, you have no idea how much. I want to swallow you down, seriously, I so much need you to come in my mouth right now. You have no idea."
I stumbled back several steps, catching myself on the banister. "Who are you?" I asked. "Where's Harry?"
"What?" The figure looked witlessly confused, in perfect imitation of Harry. "I’m Harry."
I fumbled in my pocket for the Ms. Gard's anti-glamour charm. The figure on the stairs didn't change appearance, but that might just mean the spell wasn't faerie work. He looked sharply at the charm in my hand and raised both eyebrows in a perfect imitation of Harry's "reluctantly impressed" face.
"I get it," he said. "No, seriously, it's me. Not possessed, just an embarrassing potion accident, which you should know, because if I weren't me how would I have gotten through the wards without tripping something?"
It was a good point; Gard had only recently (and reluctantly) adjusted the mansion's protections to allow Harry through without me accompanying him, and no shapeshifter or possessed Dresden would have made it through her magical moat and portcullis without at least one of my alarms going off. "What kind of potion accident?" I asked, wary.
He leered, and even through my justified paranoia it went straight to my cock. I've never seen that expression on him before, and moreover, he was positively prowling down the stairs as he walked. "Accidental potion of Phone Sex Operator, as far as I can tell. Dear Penthouse, you'll never believe what I have to tell you. It all started when my Mafia kingpin boyfriend let me put my tongue in his ass."
God. I was so hard I hurt. Nevertheless, when Harry was only a couple of steps above me -- towering ridiculously over me, of course -- I put out one hand to stop him.
"You ingested this potion by accident," I said, holding myself back from him by sheer force of will. His height combined with the differential provided by the stairs put my face rather too close to temptation. "Are you here by your own free will?"
That clueless look again. "Er, yes?"
"But the potion is making you act in ways you can't control."
He rolled his eyes. "No, the potion is making me say things I can't control. The rest of me is just fine."
I closed my eyes, hoping for patience. "You are choosing to be here and be with me, even though you aren't choosing the manner in which you spend time with me? Pardon me for finding that pedantry."
"No, seriously," said Harry. "Drusilla didn't give you a magical necklace or anything. I'm here because I want to be, Xander. Specifically, I want to be on my --"
I cut him off desperately. "Are you here by your own goddamn free will, Harry Dresden?"
His eyes widened with surprise, but then realization hit. His gaze softened. "Thrice you ask and done," he said, quietly, and folded to sit on the staircase. "Yes, John Marcone, I am here of my own free will." That sappy grin made him look ridiculous.
I exhaled sharply, feeling a knot I had barely recognized unravel in my chest. I was glad there was no mirror around; it wasn't good for my self image for me to see myself sharing any potential ridiculous expressions.
Then Harry slid forward on the step and rubbed one knee against the crotch of my trousers. "Can we please have sex now?"
Authornon here: *facepalm* Although I got the Buffy reference totally wrong-- I was thinking of Amy Madison casting the love spell and Drusilla coming for Xander but I was up and writing in the middle of the night and I just got every part of it wrong. I remembered that it involved Drusilla and a necklace, which I think was me combining Anya's necklace and the necklace Spike gives to Drusilla in my exhausted brain.
I like the way you think. Fanwank my screwups all you want.
Actually, there could be a prompt in there. How does Harry get all of his pop-culture knowledge if he is limited to the occasional drive-in theater and what he learned that of the library? You would think he would have a lot more Terry Pratchett and a lot less Aliens.
O.o I've...uh, never heard that as a compliment before.
Actually, there could be a prompt in there.
You have a point. Harry is incredibly genre-savvy, and either Chicago has some epically-awesome drive-ins, his library is full of movie adaptations, or...
Brilliant last line. It fits with this awesome fill.
"Accidental potion of Phone Sex Operator, as far as I can tell. Dear Penthouse, you'll never believe what I have to tell you. It all started when my Mafia kingpin boyfriend let me put my tongue in his ass."
lol-ing forever, as I imagine Marcone's face as Harry said that.
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timeasmymeasure
Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-06 10:14 am (UTC)I was definitely in the mood for the kind of social call Harry Dresden had been making lately.
I felt no shame in calling an early halt to my day and heading back to the house. I didn't hear anything untoward as I hung my coat in the foyer closet. "Honey, I'm home," I called, hoping it would make Harry laugh. A laughing Harry was sometimes less difficult to trip into bed. "Harry?" I heard him call something from the second-floor living room, so I started up the stairs.
He appeared at the top of the stairs before I was two thirds of the way up. "Stars, John," he said without preamble. "I need to suck your cock. I need you in my mouth, you have no idea how much. I want to swallow you down, seriously, I so much need you to come in my mouth right now. You have no idea."
I stumbled back several steps, catching myself on the banister. "Who are you?" I asked. "Where's Harry?"
"What?" The figure looked witlessly confused, in perfect imitation of Harry. "I’m Harry."
I fumbled in my pocket for the Ms. Gard's anti-glamour charm. The figure on the stairs didn't change appearance, but that might just mean the spell wasn't faerie work. He looked sharply at the charm in my hand and raised both eyebrows in a perfect imitation of Harry's "reluctantly impressed" face.
"I get it," he said. "No, seriously, it's me. Not possessed, just an embarrassing potion accident, which you should know, because if I weren't me how would I have gotten through the wards without tripping something?"
It was a good point; Gard had only recently (and reluctantly) adjusted the mansion's protections to allow Harry through without me accompanying him, and no shapeshifter or possessed Dresden would have made it through her magical moat and portcullis without at least one of my alarms going off. "What kind of potion accident?" I asked, wary.
He leered, and even through my justified paranoia it went straight to my cock. I've never seen that expression on him before, and moreover, he was positively prowling down the stairs as he walked. "Accidental potion of Phone Sex Operator, as far as I can tell. Dear Penthouse, you'll never believe what I have to tell you. It all started when my Mafia kingpin boyfriend let me put my tongue in his ass."
God. I was so hard I hurt. Nevertheless, when Harry was only a couple of steps above me -- towering ridiculously over me, of course -- I put out one hand to stop him.
"You ingested this potion by accident," I said, holding myself back from him by sheer force of will. His height combined with the differential provided by the stairs put my face rather too close to temptation. "Are you here by your own free will?"
That clueless look again. "Er, yes?"
"But the potion is making you act in ways you can't control."
He rolled his eyes. "No, the potion is making me say things I can't control. The rest of me is just fine."
I closed my eyes, hoping for patience. "You are choosing to be here and be with me, even though you aren't choosing the manner in which you spend time with me? Pardon me for finding that pedantry."
"No, seriously," said Harry. "Drusilla didn't give you a magical necklace or anything. I'm here because I want to be, Xander. Specifically, I want to be on my --"
I cut him off desperately. "Are you here by your own goddamn free will, Harry Dresden?"
His eyes widened with surprise, but then realization hit. His gaze softened. "Thrice you ask and done," he said, quietly, and folded to sit on the staircase. "Yes, John Marcone, I am here of my own free will." That sappy grin made him look ridiculous.
I exhaled sharply, feeling a knot I had barely recognized unravel in my chest. I was glad there was no mirror around; it wasn't good for my self image for me to see myself sharing any potential ridiculous expressions.
Then Harry slid forward on the step and rubbed one knee against the crotch of my trousers. "Can we please have sex now?"
Re: Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-06 10:24 am (UTC)Re: Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-06 06:27 pm (UTC)Re: Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-07 05:27 am (UTC)Also, thanks. :D:D
Re: Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-07 05:33 am (UTC)Re: Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-07 05:36 am (UTC)Actually, there could be a prompt in there. How does Harry get all of his pop-culture knowledge if he is limited to the occasional drive-in theater and what he learned that of the library? You would think he would have a lot more Terry Pratchett and a lot less Aliens.
Re: Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-07 05:46 am (UTC)O.o I've...uh, never heard that as a compliment before.
You have a point. Harry is incredibly genre-savvy, and either Chicago has some epically-awesome drive-ins, his library is full of movie adaptations, or...
Re: Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-06 06:37 pm (UTC)Re: Chatty pollen 3/? (4?)
Date: 2011-03-06 07:32 pm (UTC)"Accidental potion of Phone Sex Operator, as far as I can tell. Dear Penthouse, you'll never believe what I have to tell you. It all started when my Mafia kingpin boyfriend let me put my tongue in his ass."
lol-ing forever, as I imagine Marcone's face as Harry said that.