It was the bagel guy's fault. If he hadn't argued with me about whether or not the shop made plain freaking bagels I would have been half way to my office by nine, as usual. And not just stepping out into the street, my plain bagel with cream cheese thumping against my leg in it's bag.
Look, it's not like I have a prejudice against flavored or fancy bagels. It's just that, as far as I'm concerned, the bagel is there to deliver the cream cheese to me. That's all. Anyway. The point is, the new guy argued with me, like it was beneath him to sell me a plain old bagel and it made me late.
Which is how I stepped out into the middle of an assassination attempt.
I'm a PI. I'm observant, usually. But I was, like I said, running late and hungry, het up and smug over my victory. So I powered out of the shop, the little bell jangling a merry victory tune for me and I didn't notice the two guys come running around the corner until one of them slammed into me.
I made a sound that some, the ignorant, might call a squeak as his elbow caught me in the gut and nearly lost my balance. I grabbed the guy's sleeve on instinct to try and steady myself and he turned on me, his eyes wide and frightened.
Recognition flicked over his face and then he was grabbing me, hauling me forward with a grip that might leave bruises even through the protection of my coat.
"Hey!" I dug my heels in and twisted my arm, grabbing the guys wrist as I did so and twisting his arm up and backwards, like Murphy had shown me. I'm most of six feet tall in flats and all wiry muscle. I don't look strong, but I am. I twisted and a neat little high pitched whine erupted from the guy. "Don't go grabbing at women, jack ass!"
"Ms. Dresden, you gotta run!"
"What?" I let him go, pushing him away from me as I did so. Which is when the other guy came around the corner and opened fire. I saw the gun coming up from his side, slow and still way too fast, and it gave me just enough time to throw out my hand and raise my shield. Bullets spat out at us in controlled groups, multicolored sparks flecking off the shield with each hit.
His gun clicked empty and I dropped the shield, flicking my hand at him and triggering one of my rings. It knocked him on his ass as he ducked down to try and grab what I assumed was a hold out gun. When I say knocked, I mean shot him back ten feet into the middle of the street. Car horns screamed and the squeal of breaks made me wince. A little more force than I'd meant to use.
The guy lay there, totally still in front of a car's bumper maybe two inches from his face. I turned to the two guys who'd been running.
"What the fuck was all that?" Grabby-guy was just staring, mouth a little open, his eyes flicking rapidly between me and the idiot in the street. The other guy had come trotting back and was looking at street guy with a vicious gleam in his eyes.
"Ma'am. Sorry about that. We had a little disagreement with that guy over there."
"You don't say." I smoothed my hands over my hair and realized my bagel was gone. Sirens started up in the distance and rapidly came closer. "Dammit. You gonna collect him or what? I'm leaving." I spotted my little paper bag full of yum. It was under Grabby-guy's boot. Squashed and dirty. And a little bloody. Grabby-guy was bleeding from his thigh. It was bad enough that the side of his slacks was heavy and sticking to his leg, the blood dripping down his shoe.
"Fuck. Where's your car?"
"About four blocks back." Other-guy saw the blood too and frowned. He knelt down and started to wrap his tie over the wound. It was a piss poor bandage, but I'd left my first aid kit in my other pants. "Ma'am. We'll be fine. Executive Priority's just a block that way. I'll get him there. Mr. Marcone doesn't want us getting-"
"Screw Marcone. And don't call me ma'am. Do I look like your mother? Get in my car. I'll dump you there." Grabby-guy was criminal. I mean, he worked for Marcone, so obviously he wasn't on the up and up. Didn't mean I could let him bleed to death because of it.
Yay! This is the first time I've had a prompt filled, and it is awesome! I love your setup, and can't wait to see where you go with it. :D
though I have to disagree with you about bagels, which are a tasty treat all on their own. but that's okay, this world has enough room for all of us, including the bagel infidels. ;)
I have it all planned out, I just have to write it. Hopefully it won't be too long a wait!
I have yet to meet a bagel that was better than the cream cheese on top of it. But I agree that there is room for you bagel snobs in the world as well. ;)
I will be endlessly refreshing the flat view of the meme anyway, so I will be delighted to see more whenever it's here. :)
Oh noes! The Bagel Wars will break out in the Dresden kink meme, and then we'll need Bagel Accords, with the Toasted Council of Bagel-Lovers and the Freeholding Lord of Cream Cheese and -- okay I'm just going to stop there before it gets even sillier.
Well, my side has Harry, but I'm giving you Marcone to even out the power structure. They can divide control of the kinkmeme between them. The Freeholding Lord of Cream Cheese and the Warden of the Toasted Council. The only problem I see is this means the Bagel Accords will technically be the Frozen Bagel Accords. And that's just *wrong*...
Now I'm thinking that it should be the Bakery Accords, so that there can be various Pastry Courts for the vampires, the Toast Council for the wizards... what would the Fae courts be? I'm really enamored of the phrase "Freeholding Lord of Cream Cheese," so that has to stay. It just makes me giggle helplessly every time I read it. (His other title can be the Baron of Bagels!)
Why am I spending mental effort on figuring out what bakery products might symbolize Summer and Winter? Kinkmeme, what have you done to me? *facepalm*
Titania, the Blueberry Muffin Queen? Thomas the Chocolate Eclair vampire?
I still think the 'Toasted Council' is funnier. :D
Chocolate Eclair Court for the White Vamps.
Red Velvet Cake Court for the Red Vamps?
Muffin Court for Summer.
What about the Cupcake Court for Winter? Sort of looks similar to the Muffin Court, but sweeter and far more dangerous
Freeholding Lord of Cream Cheese is, quite honestly, the best title I've ever seen. It shall remain! And really, if he's going to be Lord of Cream Cheese, Baron of Bagels just makes sense.
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timeasmymeasure
Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-25 07:07 pm (UTC)Look, it's not like I have a prejudice against flavored or fancy bagels. It's just that, as far as I'm concerned, the bagel is there to deliver the cream cheese to me. That's all. Anyway. The point is, the new guy argued with me, like it was beneath him to sell me a plain old bagel and it made me late.
Which is how I stepped out into the middle of an assassination attempt.
I'm a PI. I'm observant, usually. But I was, like I said, running late and hungry, het up and smug over my victory. So I powered out of the shop, the little bell jangling a merry victory tune for me and I didn't notice the two guys come running around the corner until one of them slammed into me.
I made a sound that some, the ignorant, might call a squeak as his elbow caught me in the gut and nearly lost my balance. I grabbed the guy's sleeve on instinct to try and steady myself and he turned on me, his eyes wide and frightened.
Recognition flicked over his face and then he was grabbing me, hauling me forward with a grip that might leave bruises even through the protection of my coat.
"Hey!" I dug my heels in and twisted my arm, grabbing the guys wrist as I did so and twisting his arm up and backwards, like Murphy had shown me. I'm most of six feet tall in flats and all wiry muscle. I don't look strong, but I am. I twisted and a neat little high pitched whine erupted from the guy. "Don't go grabbing at women, jack ass!"
"Ms. Dresden, you gotta run!"
"What?" I let him go, pushing him away from me as I did so. Which is when the other guy came around the corner and opened fire. I saw the gun coming up from his side, slow and still way too fast, and it gave me just enough time to throw out my hand and raise my shield. Bullets spat out at us in controlled groups, multicolored sparks flecking off the shield with each hit.
His gun clicked empty and I dropped the shield, flicking my hand at him and triggering one of my rings. It knocked him on his ass as he ducked down to try and grab what I assumed was a hold out gun. When I say knocked, I mean shot him back ten feet into the middle of the street. Car horns screamed and the squeal of breaks made me wince. A little more force than I'd meant to use.
The guy lay there, totally still in front of a car's bumper maybe two inches from his face. I turned to the two guys who'd been running.
"What the fuck was all that?" Grabby-guy was just staring, mouth a little open, his eyes flicking rapidly between me and the idiot in the street. The other guy had come trotting back and was looking at street guy with a vicious gleam in his eyes.
"Ma'am. Sorry about that. We had a little disagreement with that guy over there."
"You don't say." I smoothed my hands over my hair and realized my bagel was gone. Sirens started up in the distance and rapidly came closer. "Dammit. You gonna collect him or what? I'm leaving." I spotted my little paper bag full of yum. It was under Grabby-guy's boot. Squashed and dirty. And a little bloody. Grabby-guy was bleeding from his thigh. It was bad enough that the side of his slacks was heavy and sticking to his leg, the blood dripping down his shoe.
"Fuck. Where's your car?"
"About four blocks back." Other-guy saw the blood too and frowned. He knelt down and started to wrap his tie over the wound. It was a piss poor bandage, but I'd left my first aid kit in my other pants. "Ma'am. We'll be fine. Executive Priority's just a block that way. I'll get him there. Mr. Marcone doesn't want us getting-"
"Screw Marcone. And don't call me ma'am. Do I look like your mother? Get in my car. I'll dump you there." Grabby-guy was criminal. I mean, he worked for Marcone, so obviously he wasn't on the up and up. Didn't mean I could let him bleed to death because of it.
Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-25 07:59 pm (UTC)TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN
EVER
EVER
Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-26 02:41 am (UTC)It is the only reason bagels exist. Because otherwise it looks weird eating the cream cheese right out of the tub.
Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-25 08:29 pm (UTC)Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-26 02:42 am (UTC)Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-25 08:42 pm (UTC)Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-26 02:45 am (UTC)Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-25 09:04 pm (UTC)Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-26 02:46 am (UTC)Harry's Harry whether he's a he or a she. :D
OP Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-26 09:30 am (UTC)though I have to disagree with you about bagels, which are a tasty treat all on their own. but that's okay, this world has enough room for all of us, including the bagel infidels. ;)
Re: OP Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-27 02:08 am (UTC)I have it all planned out, I just have to write it. Hopefully it won't be too long a wait!
I have yet to meet a bagel that was better than the cream cheese on top of it. But I agree that there is room for you bagel snobs in the world as well. ;)
OP Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-27 02:34 am (UTC)I will be endlessly refreshing the flat view of the meme anyway, so I will be delighted to see more whenever it's here. :)
Oh noes! The Bagel Wars will break out in the Dresden kink meme, and then we'll need Bagel Accords, with the Toasted Council of Bagel-Lovers and the Freeholding Lord of Cream Cheese and -- okay I'm just going to stop there before it gets even sillier.
Re: OP Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-27 10:55 pm (UTC)Well, my side has Harry, but I'm giving you Marcone to even out the power structure. They can divide control of the kinkmeme between them. The Freeholding Lord of Cream Cheese and the Warden of the Toasted Council. The only problem I see is this means the Bagel Accords will technically be the Frozen Bagel Accords. And that's just *wrong*...
OP Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-02-28 11:52 pm (UTC)Why am I spending mental effort on figuring out what bakery products might symbolize Summer and Winter? Kinkmeme, what have you done to me? *facepalm*
Titania, the Blueberry Muffin Queen? Thomas the Chocolate Eclair vampire?
Re: OP Re: Fill: Playing for the Crowd 1/?
Date: 2011-03-01 07:09 pm (UTC)I still think the 'Toasted Council' is funnier. :D
Chocolate Eclair Court for the White Vamps.
Red Velvet Cake Court for the Red Vamps?
Muffin Court for Summer.
What about the Cupcake Court for Winter? Sort of looks similar to the Muffin Court, but sweeter and far more dangerous
Freeholding Lord of Cream Cheese is, quite honestly, the best title I've ever seen. It shall remain! And really, if he's going to be Lord of Cream Cheese, Baron of Bagels just makes sense.
Knights of the Angel Food Cake!
It's dangerous is what it is.