After he’d run out of polite words to lecture Molly with, Harry had caved in the combined guilt trip tactics of the Carpenter family and trudged over to the kissing booth. Charity had taken pity on him and told him that traditionally, people only went for the cheek (or wrist, if the kissing booth was manned by a woman), but due to an Incident last year, Michael had decided that having a woman at the kissing booth was quite likely inviting unwanted sexual harassment.
Harry didn’t see how this precluded himself from said sexual harassment, but he conceded the point. It wasn’t as though he would have been comfortable if Charity, or worse, Molly had offered to take over, anyway. So he had planted his skinny arse behind the pink booth, hidden his staff under the red crepe paper frills, and prepared for battle.
About half an hour into the charity event, Harry was relieved to realize that he was beginning to feel bored. He knew he wasn’t particularly good looking, especially given what the other half of his current immediate family was blessed with by way of looks, so the kissing booth wasn’t that popular. So far, he’d gotten three tipsy kisses on the cheek, one sarcastic one on the wrist (Murphy), and one air kiss blown in his direction by the lemonade lady that probably didn’t count. But the bartered lemonade was awesome, so Harry mentally added it into his tally.
And then the empty space before his booth suddenly wasn’t empty any longer.
The All-Father smiled benevolently at Harry when he backpedaled in shock, his shoulders slamming into the wall. “Dresden.”
Harry recovered enough mental faculties to scowl. “This is a Christian charity festival, Vadderung.”
Vadderung shrugged ponderously. “Yahweh has sufficient market share at present to be a little more tolerant on concepts of overlapping territory.”
Mind blown by the concept of a divine free market system, Harry gaped, until Vadderung finally arched an eyebrow – the one over the eye patch – and pointed at the handpainted pink sign planted next to the booth. “Is this still open?”
“Uh.” Vadderung wanted to…? “Sure. It’s…” Harry quickly recalculated the flat fee. “Ten dollars.”
“Your sign says one dollar, mortal man,” Vadderung said dryly, but he palmed a greenback out of nowhere and dropped it in the jar. “Well?”
Harry grit his teeth, sighed, and leaned forward, then froze when Vadderung grabbed him by the chin and pulled him into a mouth to mouth, tongue to tongue kiss, all studied intensity and untold experience and an evident disregard of the human need to breathe, until Harry finally pulled back with a choked gasp, bright red, his heart hammering in his chest and… yes… an obvious tightness in his pants.
Hell’s bells.
Vadderung’s big hand moved unhurriedly to his shoulder, and pushed him back down into his chair with a gentle, inexorable strength. “What time does this heathen worship event conclude, Dresden?”
…Heathen? Harry blinked. Well, he supposed it was a point of view. “Uhh, couple of hours and a half.” His voice even sounded thick.
Vadderung assumed a thoughtful expression, then he inclined his head. “And your plans after it?”
“I’m going home,” Harry said, very quickly.
“Good.” Vadderung’s hand, which Harry belatedly realized was still on his shoulder, stroked up to rub rough knuckles against his cheek. “Then I will wait for you there.”
“What… wait!”
Vadderung, however, had simply vanished. Harry stared blankly out into the empty space that the Norse God had only just occupied, then at the jar. Which was now full of ten-dollar bills.
Harry pressed his forehead to the table with a groan. If he worked fast, he could probably stash all the ten dollar notes before anyone-
“Wow. Harry, you’re amazing,” Molly said, in an awed tone somewhere to his right.
Stars. Harry shifted quickly to hide his lap under the booth, and had to shift uncomfortably again as his lips tingled.
It leads one to wonder how much it would rock if he sexed them both up at the same time... Is there a promt for that yet? Cause that would be really freaking hot actually.
I think you are awesome. This was great, just the thing I needed to make me smile. :)
And Molly, at the end? Was the perfect touch. I absolutely love how Vadderung just shoves his way into the 'heathen' festival to get his (expensive) kiss and leaves Harry wanting more - which he'll get later. :) Yes, yes he will definitely get much more later.
I really loved reading this prompt and I was inspired as soon as I was done. Had a lot of trouble deciding what Donar looked like though and don't get me started on the kissing part...
I hope there will be more fills so I can draw more, too. :)
That was good...love the free market in religion and especially the attention Vadderung was giving Harry..hmmmm..wonder how long he has been interested in our wizard... Guess Harry has a late night date tonight...
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timeasmymeasure
No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-19 12:02 pm (UTC)Harry didn’t see how this precluded himself from said sexual harassment, but he conceded the point. It wasn’t as though he would have been comfortable if Charity, or worse, Molly had offered to take over, anyway. So he had planted his skinny arse behind the pink booth, hidden his staff under the red crepe paper frills, and prepared for battle.
About half an hour into the charity event, Harry was relieved to realize that he was beginning to feel bored. He knew he wasn’t particularly good looking, especially given what the other half of his current immediate family was blessed with by way of looks, so the kissing booth wasn’t that popular. So far, he’d gotten three tipsy kisses on the cheek, one sarcastic one on the wrist (Murphy), and one air kiss blown in his direction by the lemonade lady that probably didn’t count. But the bartered lemonade was awesome, so Harry mentally added it into his tally.
And then the empty space before his booth suddenly wasn’t empty any longer.
The All-Father smiled benevolently at Harry when he backpedaled in shock, his shoulders slamming into the wall. “Dresden.”
Harry recovered enough mental faculties to scowl. “This is a Christian charity festival, Vadderung.”
Vadderung shrugged ponderously. “Yahweh has sufficient market share at present to be a little more tolerant on concepts of overlapping territory.”
Mind blown by the concept of a divine free market system, Harry gaped, until Vadderung finally arched an eyebrow – the one over the eye patch – and pointed at the handpainted pink sign planted next to the booth. “Is this still open?”
“Uh.” Vadderung wanted to…? “Sure. It’s…” Harry quickly recalculated the flat fee. “Ten dollars.”
“Your sign says one dollar, mortal man,” Vadderung said dryly, but he palmed a greenback out of nowhere and dropped it in the jar. “Well?”
Harry grit his teeth, sighed, and leaned forward, then froze when Vadderung grabbed him by the chin and pulled him into a mouth to mouth, tongue to tongue kiss, all studied intensity and untold experience and an evident disregard of the human need to breathe, until Harry finally pulled back with a choked gasp, bright red, his heart hammering in his chest and… yes… an obvious tightness in his pants.
Hell’s bells.
Vadderung’s big hand moved unhurriedly to his shoulder, and pushed him back down into his chair with a gentle, inexorable strength. “What time does this heathen worship event conclude, Dresden?”
…Heathen? Harry blinked. Well, he supposed it was a point of view. “Uhh, couple of hours and a half.” His voice even sounded thick.
Vadderung assumed a thoughtful expression, then he inclined his head. “And your plans after it?”
“I’m going home,” Harry said, very quickly.
“Good.” Vadderung’s hand, which Harry belatedly realized was still on his shoulder, stroked up to rub rough knuckles against his cheek. “Then I will wait for you there.”
“What… wait!”
Vadderung, however, had simply vanished. Harry stared blankly out into the empty space that the Norse God had only just occupied, then at the jar. Which was now full of ten-dollar bills.
Harry pressed his forehead to the table with a groan. If he worked fast, he could probably stash all the ten dollar notes before anyone-
“Wow. Harry, you’re amazing,” Molly said, in an awed tone somewhere to his right.
Stars. Harry shifted quickly to hide his lap under the booth, and had to shift uncomfortably again as his lips tingled.
Re: No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-19 12:11 pm (UTC)(awesome vadderung sexing up marcone and harry, even *_*)
Re: No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-19 04:34 pm (UTC)Re: No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-19 04:46 pm (UTC)Re: No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-19 05:23 pm (UTC)Re: No Refund Policy [1/1] - OP
Date: 2011-02-19 04:08 pm (UTC)And Molly, at the end? Was the perfect touch. I absolutely love how Vadderung just shoves his way into the 'heathen' festival to get his (expensive) kiss and leaves Harry wanting more - which he'll get later. :) Yes, yes he will definitely get much more later.
Again, you are wonderful. Thank you.
Re: No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-19 08:02 pm (UTC)Re: No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-19 11:11 pm (UTC)Re: No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-19 11:21 pm (UTC)*can't stop laughing*
Art: No Refund Policy
Date: 2011-02-20 02:04 am (UTC)http://kaishiro15.deviantart.com/art/DF-No-Refund-198085532
Re: Art: No Refund Policy - OP
Date: 2011-02-20 02:10 am (UTC)This was wonderful. Thank you. :)
Artist: No Refund Policy -To OP
Date: 2011-02-20 02:15 am (UTC)I really loved reading this prompt and I was inspired as soon as I was done. Had a lot of trouble deciding what Donar looked like though and don't get me started on the kissing part...
I hope there will be more fills so I can draw more, too. :)
writeranon says
Date: 2011-02-20 04:49 am (UTC)Re: No Refund Policy [1/1]
Date: 2011-02-21 04:37 am (UTC)Guess Harry has a late night date tonight...