Ah, but the problem is this idea of when you see him having trouble constructs the entire idea around your able-bodied notion of what is trouble and what a disabled person needs. In my rather large experience, people think I'm "having trouble" when I am literally standing at a street corner waiting for the light to change and twittering. Just being disabled in most cases is apparently "in trouble."
To put a finer point on it, it is pretty universally agreed in the disabled circles I move in that unsolicited helpers are more obnoxious than anything. And are, significantly, really just out to make themselves feel good. It's usually worth being polite as you brush them off, but people who randomly come up to me to offer help are wasting my time, getting in my way, and imposing their able-bodied idea of "help" and my ability onto me from a position of ignorance. People who actually want to be helpful wait to be asked, because they understand it is not their place to impose their ideas onto someone else.
And that is what the prompt is about.
(frozen comment) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Lovely. Again, this prompt is not about you or even your interpretation of the prompt. You have your interpretation of it, it offends you, great. Get away from it. It's actively aggravating you, so get away from it. Please, stop jumping on people's prompts. Even if you find it offensive, it still follows the basic rules, and I would hate to see people afraid to post their own prompts because they're afraid someone would interpret it based on their own sensitivities. You don't like it, it offends you, we get it.
(frozen comment) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
So you're saying I should just let the person fall on their ass when they're doing so? I see that often enough, and most people just walk on by and don't care. I'm ashamed to admit that I've walked by a few times and not offered help when I'm running late. Why do people do this? IMHO, mostly because no one cares anymore - the person who fell is just going to say no anyways, right? And, hey, it's not my problem, right?
I'm sorry, but I'm actually less likely to help the person who asks for it. That could be because where I'm raised, the people who ask for help are the lazy asses who won't work, won't do what they're able, and are looking for handouts. The ones who need help are the ones who don't ask.
But I will admit that is a very localized mentality and reality, and does not apply everywhere. I do not assume it is the same when I travel, or when I talk to others.
I will also agree with you that standing around does not constitute "trouble" (I've had the same problem once or twice myself, funnily enough), and that "trouble" is subjective. Where I'm from, however, unsolicited help is rare enough that it is not obnoxious and worth thanking the person for offering. Even when you're just standing there and you don't know why they're asking if you need it.
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(frozen comment) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
Ah, but the problem is this idea of when you see him having trouble constructs the entire idea around your able-bodied notion of what is trouble and what a disabled person needs. In my rather large experience, people think I'm "having trouble" when I am literally standing at a street corner waiting for the light to change and twittering. Just being disabled in most cases is apparently "in trouble."
To put a finer point on it, it is pretty universally agreed in the disabled circles I move in that unsolicited helpers are more obnoxious than anything. And are, significantly, really just out to make themselves feel good. It's usually worth being polite as you brush them off, but people who randomly come up to me to offer help are wasting my time, getting in my way, and imposing their able-bodied idea of "help" and my ability onto me from a position of ignorance. People who actually want to be helpful wait to be asked, because they understand it is not their place to impose their ideas onto someone else.
And that is what the prompt is about.
(frozen comment) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
(Anonymous) 2011-03-18 02:52 am (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) Re: Please, don't say anything. Even the subject line is full of fail.
(Anonymous) 2011-03-18 02:53 am (UTC)(link)I'm sorry, but I'm actually less likely to help the person who asks for it. That could be because where I'm raised, the people who ask for help are the lazy asses who won't work, won't do what they're able, and are looking for handouts. The ones who need help are the ones who don't ask.
But I will admit that is a very localized mentality and reality, and does not apply everywhere. I do not assume it is the same when I travel, or when I talk to others.
I will also agree with you that standing around does not constitute "trouble" (I've had the same problem once or twice myself, funnily enough), and that "trouble" is subjective. Where I'm from, however, unsolicited help is rare enough that it is not obnoxious and worth thanking the person for offering. Even when you're just standing there and you don't know why they're asking if you need it.
(frozen comment) DISCUSSION
(Anonymous) 2011-03-18 03:44 am (UTC)(link)For any meta, dicussion, or just general love and squee. http://scribe-protra.livejournal.com/216205.html
For any meta, dicussion, or just general love and squee. http://scribe-protra.livejournal.com/216205.html
For any meta, dicussion, or just general love and squee. http://scribe-protra.livejournal.com/216205.html