I would love a story with most of the trappings of canon, except Harry is gay and out and very proud.* And John Marcone is, oh wait, a mob guy, who is either so deep in the closet he’s in Narnia, or in massive denial (he might have vague thoughts about men sometimes, but that’s not practical, no purpose, put it away, Johnny), or either way seriously threatened by Harry’s sexuality. Mix well, shake vigorously.

* Might not even need much canon tweaking! I mean, it doesn’t take imagination to see Harry using take-no-prisoners I am who I am fuck you sexuality like a weapon against the White Council, his fucked up history, every authority figure ever, like he uses his sarcasm. Amiright?